MORE OF THE WORLD PROUDLY DECLARES:
“I WANT A FONK!”
why do fonks happen?
You see, when a Star and a Void like each other very much, they want to unite in an implausible, celestial synthesis. But when the Moon tries to facilitate this union by providing a meeting ground for two opposite and equal forces of the universe… well, what happens is you get fonks.
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Yes, these fonkholes have fonked up spacetime, and the world is not the same. But we can make it samer, by unfonking what has been fonked.
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Sure, fonks fonk up the world. But don’t we all fonk things up sometimes? The moon is more asking for forgiveness than permission, here.
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For being from the moon, fonks sure are soft and cuddly. They really are quite harmless, despite all the world melting.
All the fonklore
Dive into all the fonky details on our fonklore page to see what you can do in this moment of world crisis!
FONK FACT:
Fonks come from The Moon! Fonks keep shooting out of the moon, fonking things up, and we don’t really know how to stop them. But why would we stop them from happening? They’re so cute and fun!
SOUND, SANE REASONING
for getting a fonk
These practical features make Fonk ownership the rational choice.
what is a
love wizard?
?
A CAPTIVATING DILEMMA
〰️
WE ALL WANT TO KNOW
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A MASTER OF LOVE WIZARDRY
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BALANCING A LIFE OF WIZARDRY AND A LIFE OF LOVE
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WOULD YOU TANGLE WITH A LOVE WIZARD?
A CAPTIVATING DILEMMA 〰️ WE ALL WANT TO KNOW ~ A MASTER OF LOVE WIZARDRY ~ BALANCING A LIFE OF WIZARDRY AND A LIFE OF LOVE ~ WOULD YOU TANGLE WITH A LOVE WIZARD?
WHAT IS IT?
It’s A love wizard!
Powered by the radiant luminescence of pure love itself, each fully posable, 18” Love Wizard acts as a captivating enigma, ready to take you on a twisting journey of discovery through the meaning of love. This alluring, mystical sorcerer from the misty nether regions of the Moon wants you to find out all that a Love Wizard has to offer. Includes:
• 18” Fonk
• 72” Luminary Sash (Gold or silver)
• Beadbands - assorted colors (3)
• Fonksnatcher Two wall mount
FONKS ARE PLAYFUL FRIENDS
FONK SHOW
SUBMIT YOUR FONK PHOTOS to the online FONK show!
"...It was adorably pushing through into our world." - B. Tanner, Baltimore, MD
There it was, frozen in faceplant." -Darnell F., Seattle, WA
"To my surprise, I didn't mind the intrusion." -Alena B., Houston, TX
"It was trying to blend in with the plant life. Poorly." -G. Thompson, Boise, ID
IT’S GOOD THAT FONKS HAPPENED
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MOON NEWS
All the latest Fonk info, straight from the Moon
ONLY RELY ON OFFICIAL, AUTHORIZED FONK INFO – YOU CAN 100% TRUST THE MOON FOR ALL FONK FACTS!
ALL FONKS LOVE FONXERCISE
〰️
SOME FONKS THROW DOWN AND POSE
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FONK-OFF WITH A FONXERCISER
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WHO WILL WIN?
〰️ SOME FONKS THROW DOWN AND POSE 〰️ FONK-OFF WITH A FONXERCISER 〰️ WHO WILL WIN?
WHAT IS IT?
It’s a FONxerciser!
Fonks pose best when wearing gear that accents their limbs and digies. That’s why Fonxercisers are the flyest fonks to happen so far! If you want your fonk to gear up and throw down epic Fonk-Offs, you can’t go wrong with the fresh, old school style of a Fonxerciser. Pick up one of these 18” fully posable plush bad boys from the streets of The Moon. Available in Fonkie Pink or a Unique Mix of colors to make a fonky-fresh pose-wiz of your very own.
GIVE A FONK TO A FRIEND…
EVERY FRIEND NEEDS a FONK!
What is it? It’s a Fonk, a thing that happened recently, but don’t worry: the Moon has taken full responsibility. This 18-inch little guy is capable of posing all kinds of ways around your home. So give one to a friend! A Fonk can pose as a buddy, shadow totem, nightlurker, warding glyph, all in one day if you want. Just know that Fonks DO NOT move on their own so you can make it pose however you want it to!
A Public Apology From
THE OFFICE OF THE MOON
Sincerest apologies for all the fonks. This was an accident, and we are working on a remedy. Some have been asking how could this happen? Well, The Sky was going through some stuff at the time. The Void and The Star were having some trouble, and I thought I could step in and offer my help, and well, now there are fonks. Sorry.
You know how sometimes you try to do something to make things better, but it just makes things worse? It was like that. And now, fonks are melting the world by touching it. But look, don’ tmake too much of it. I am on it. Promise.
In the mean time, there are two remedies we know work really well:
1. FONK ADOPTION
Each fonk off the streets and in a loving home means one less chance the world melts, and that’s good for everyone. They play well with most children and they do not move when you look directly at them, so that’s a couple positives.
2. PERMANENT HOUSING
We should all probably get used to the fact that the world has fonks now. Good news is, we have plans to build a habitat specifically suited for fonks through THE MELT PROJECT. This is a planned facility in-between The Sky and The World where fonks can safely melt things, and moreover, live and play with dignity.
Support The Melt Project
LET’S DO THIS
Let’s face it: things are pretty fonked up right now. But together, we can build a better world: one that doesn’t melt when fonks touch it.
In a major, recent development, THE MOON has officially partnered with JOE SQUARE to drive fonk awareness and adoption. Please join the MOON NEWS newsletter for all up-to-date, factual and official fonk-related information.